Adopting A Medically Complex Child – Neuro Brilliant Magazine

You’re planning on adopting. The child you want to adopt is medically complex. What do you need to know?

You know that there will be challenges when adopting a child. These challenges will be more significant when adopting a child with special needs. Here, we will discuss some of the pressing questions you may have while sharing resources for your adoption journey.

Is it more difficult to adopt a medically complex child?
What does medically complex mean?
What are the steps involved when adopting?
What resources are available to help with the adoption?
How long does it take to adopt a child with medical complexity from foster care?
Preparing your home and yourself for your adopted child.
What resources are available for your medically complex adopted child?
What resources are available to you as an adoptive parent with a special needs child?
You are someone special

Is it More Difficult to Adopt a Medically Complex Child?

It is often easier to adopt a child with special needs as opposed to a healthy child. This is because it is much more difficult to find families or individuals willing to adopt a child with medical problems.

It is in the child’s best interest to find a loving and stable home as quickly as possible. This is important for the child’s mental and physical health. Therefore, many of the requirements and time constraints when adopting a healthy child are not required for a medically complex child.

There is a growing number of medically complex children entering foster care. Nature says there are 20,000 to 40,000 children with medical complexity entering foster care every year.

To adopt a medically complex child, be sure to:

Use a licensed public or private adoption agency
Find an Adoption Attorney
Check into Medical Expedite Adoption if the child is from another country.

According to Adoption Agencies, the upfront cost to adopt a child with special needs through foster care is $2,500. This cost is usually reimbursed through subsidies for adopting and others that are for the health care of the child. Private adoptions are another matter and could cost as much as $50,000.

What does Medically Complex Mean?

Children with medical complexity, also known as CMC, have numerous medical complications. These medical issues may be genetic or have environmental factors. According to Children’s Hospital, these children “require intense care management from multiple medical and community providers.” Here is an article diving in-depth about what medically complex means.

Depending upon the severity of the medical complexity, the child may have a greatly shortened life span. However, with a loving family around them, these children will at least know what it is to be loved, and at most may surprise doctors and live a much longer life.

Children with CMC have at least one of the listed conditions. Often they have a combination of all listed conditions.

Chronic Health Conditions
Functional Limitations
Technology Dependent

Chronic health conditions are health conditions that require medical intervention for the entirety of the child’s life. A child with functional limitations is one that is not capable of doing the same physical activities as their healthy peers. The functional limitations may be mild and correctable or may last a lifetime. A child who is technology dependent is a child who requires medical technology to survive and thrive. A child with CMC may need:

Oxygen
Monitors
Wheelchair
Physical Therapy
Speech Therapy
Surgeries
Other Special Treatments

No two CMC children will be exactly alike in their diagnosis. Rainbow Kids has an extensive list of issues that special needs adoptive children may have:

Blood Conditions
Chromosomal Disorders
Congenital Heart Defects
Craniofacial
Developmental
Digestive
Hearing
Neurologic Conditions
Orthopedic Conditions
Skin Conditions
Urogenital Conditions
Vision conditions

What Steps are Involved in the Adoption Process of a Medically Complex Child?

Different States may require slightly different guidelines to be followed. Whether you are adopting a healthy child or a child with medical complexity you will have to go through the normal adoption procedures.

Take a home study course for adoption
Find a Foster/Adoption agency near you
Learn about Children with medical complexity and special needs
Decide what medical conditions you are comfortable with
Complete a Home Study
Search for a child
Contact your agency to arrange meeting a child
Post placement- the child will be living with you
Adoption is finalized

There are courses such as Foster to Forever Family that cost $10. This course is often required and will help you learn about adopting a child. Most states require you to become a foster parent before being able to adopt. Justia has clickable links to all 50 states for adoption requirements and legal forms.

Part of the adoption process involves answering questions pertaining to the health of the child. This is why it is important to learn about children with medical complexity and the different conditions they may have. By learning about what these children face and what you, as their parent, will have to do will help you decide what you are comfortable with.

Discrimination of Age, Gender, Sexual Identity, and Adoption

Though most sites will say there is no discrimination in the adoption process, and any mature adult is encouraged to apply to adopt, it is a major factor to consider.

In most states, you must be at least 18 years old to adopt any child, but this varies by state. Some states require the adoptor to be 21 or even 25 years of age. No matter your age, you will be assessed to determine:

Maturity
Financial Capabilities
Whether you are capable of caring for the child’s needs

According to adoption Together there is not an age limit for adopting. Many older people are accepted as adoptive parents. Older parents have more life experience and often have more patience. They may have raised their own family or have medical experience in caring for children.

If you are married, even if you are separated, your spouse must agree to the adoption. There is not a requirement to own your own home.

You are also able to adopt if you are LGBTQ. It is legal in all 50 states. Child Welfare notes that the LGBTQ remains an untapped resource for special needs children. If you are LGBTQ and thinking of adopting Family Equality may have some resources for you. They offer

Family support
Family Building
Stories
Advocacy
Resources

You do not need to be in the medical field to adopt a special needs child, but you will require special training to care for your medically complex child. It may also be required that you foster the child before moving through the adoption procedure.

What Resources are Available to Help with the Adoption?

Adoption is a huge step. You want to become the legal caregiver of the child, but you need help and guidance. It can be difficult to find information on your own, especially if your emotions are highly charged at the moment.

There are many resources available to help you with the adoption of your medically complex child. Here is a list of places that may help you or guide you to the help you need.

Keeping Kyrie is a book written by a couple who fostered 87 children and adopted 6. They have a lot of useful information for parents of medically complex special needs children.

How Long Does it Take to Adopt a Child with Medical Complexity from Foster Care?

When it comes to children with medical complexity, time is of the essence. How long it will take to adopt a special needs child from foster care depends on the agency you go through. It usually takes no more than a few months to finalize an adoption of a special needs child that is in foster care.

Public adoption agencies usually have more children with special needs that need placed with adoptive parents, and they are able to push adoptions through quicker. Private adoption agencies may take longer and may not be as familiar with CMS children.

Adopt US Kids notes it can take up to a year from when you first meet your child to adoption finalization. However, every adoption situation is different, and your case could be shorter or longer. If you will foster before adopting, many states give preference to foster parents if they are unable to place the child with relatives.

Preparing Yourself and Your Home for Your Adopted Medically Complex Child

Be sure to talk with your immediate family. Discuss with your partner what you are both willing and capable of dealing with. If there are two of you, you will be an amazing team.

Help older children, if there are any, understand what is going on and why you are adopting another child. I don’t believe any child is too young to have meaningful conversations. Even a one-year-old understands much more than we usually think.

The extended family should also be included. Just keep in mind that their viewpoints may be completely different than yours. That’s okay. This is your journey. It’s not for someone else to understand.

Though rewarded with the love you will share with your adopted child, life with CMC will be strenuous. You will need a support system of people you can rely on and call upon any time of the day or night.

Before your child comes home:

Your case worker may help you with permanency services to help you prepare for your CMC child.
Spend time with children who have similar disabilities

Search out support groups, and attend meetings.
Search out respite care
Get to know your child’s doctors and care caregivers
Prepare a special needs trust
Taking CPR and First Aid Training Course is a good idea for all parents.
If there are no support groups in your area, you can create a non-profit group yourself.
Receive training for Caring for a medically complex child Such as Walden Parent Resource and Education Program

First and foremost, learn to take care of yourself. Your child needs you to be your healthiest, mentally, and physically. You will need to take breaks; as difficult as it may be, you will need time away from your child. This is where trained respite caregivers come in.

Respite Care workers will come to your home at a designated day and time to give you time to do things you otherwise are unable to do. Depending on your child’s conditions, this could include a nurse that stays overnight with your child while you sleep.

What Resources are Available for your Adopted Medically Complex Child?

Most of the help and resources for your CMC child will come through support for the entire family. There are a few resources for your special needs child. You may also find resources at the hospital you use or through support groups in your area. These online resources could also prove promising for your child.

What Resources Are Available To You As An Adoptive Parent?

You will need to be able to communicate with those that understand. Sometimes it can be challenging to find the resources or groups that best fit your needs. Don’t just look for forums for adoptive parents; look for anything that pertains to you and your situation. If there’s a parent board for autism and your child is autistic, look into it.

Much of the care and resources are the same for you as for birth parents. As an adoptive parent of a CMC child, you have many resources available to you. Utilize all resources that you need.

If you need help with obtaining something for your special needs child, start asking around. My mother once received help from the Shriners when we learned my brother needed hearing aids. They were too expensive for us, and his insurance did not cover them. Our local Shriners group donated a pair to my brother. Help can be found so, don’t give up.

Same Rights As Birth Parents

As an adoptive parent, you have the same rights as any other parent. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, parents have the right to see their child’s medical records.

Sometimes what you are being told and what you sense is quite different. If you feel the doctors are leaving something out or evading questions, it’s okay to:

Be nosey when it comes to your child’s medical care. Demand to read your child’s charts and do your research. Learn the terms you may not understand. This is your child, and you need to know and understand what is going on with them at every turn.
If you are definitely not able to get along with a doctor for your child, it is perfectly okay to find another doctor.

Dr. Darla Calyton PsyD.’s advice is on spot “Listen to your intuition… While the professionals are experts in their areas, you are the expert on your child.”

You are Someone Special

The choice to adopt a special needs child is not going to be an easy path. But the rewards will be astounding.

You will learn:

Strength
Endurance
Resilience
Patience
Humility
The meaning of Unconditional Love

Caring for a special needs child will take you places you never dreamed of. You will learn about things you had no idea existed. You will meet people from all walks of life who suddenly share something with you.

Your mindset and beliefs will be challenged, and some will be changed. There will be times you will feel overwhelmed and alone. It’s okay. It’s normal to feel this way. That is why there are resources for you to connect with.

Everything you used to know is going to be different. This is also why you take the time to learn about caring for a CMC child before adopting. In a way, as an adoptive parent, you will be better prepared than many birth parents who never saw what was coming.