Many special needs moms are on duty around the clock; even a quiet shower can feel like a luxury. Stress builds up, and special needs mom burnout sets in. Sound familiar?
This was certainly true for me at the beginning of my journey. Amidst the chaos of sleepless nights, worry, financial stress, and everything else that comes with this life, I eventually developed a few simple strategies to find relief.
If you’re experiencing special needs mom burnout, here are five tips to help you find relief.
5 Tips for Managing Special Needs Mom Burnout:
- Practice mindfulness
- Be willing to ask for help
- Practice saying no
- Grant yourself grace
- Carve out moments of “you” time
1. Practice Mindfulness
Becoming aware of your thoughts isn’t always easy, but even a brief moment of practicing mindfulness can bring a sliver of peace amid the chaos. Mindfulness, the art of being fully present without judgment, can help you feel more centered and stable.
For special needs moms, mindfulness is a lifeline—a pause button amid meltdowns and sleepless nights.
Cultivating this skill can be as simple as focusing on your breath or going on a walk. It can help you get out of flight-or-fight and take positive, constructive action.
Here’s how to get started:
- Simple breathwork: When special needs mom burnout starts to take hold, pause for a few moments and try taking slow, deep breaths, focusing on the rise and fall of your chest. Whether in the grocery store or traffic, just a few moments of mindful breathwork can create a sense of calm.
- Guided meditations: Meditation is known to help people reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and even lower blood pressure. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer guided meditations designed for busy moms.
- Take a walk: Sometimes, just getting out of the house for five minutes to walk around the block is enough to reduce stress. Walking helps release stress hormones, which can help you feel more centered and stable.
Need more guidance? For practical exercises and meditations, check out Dr. Nicole LePera’s “How to Meet Your Self: The Workbook for Self-Discovery” book on Amazon.
2. Be Willing To Ask For Help
If you have difficulty asking for help, you’re not alone. Special needs parents, myself included, often have a hard time asking for support because we feel like we have to manage everything alone. But that’s not true!
Here are a few ways you can try asking for help to avoid special needs mom burnout:
- Prayer Support
- Special Needs Parenting Support Groups
- Reach Out to a Friend
- Respite Care
- Professional Support
Prayer Support
For those rooted in faith, seeking prayer support is a simple yet powerful way to ask for help. I began asking for help by contacting friends and family who practice prayer and requesting their support during tough times.
Unity Prayer Ministry is a valuable resource for prayer aid, available to people of all faiths. Unity has helped to provide a light in the dark moments of my life.
If faith is a cornerstone in your life, consider this avenue for support. Reach out to your community through your local church, friends, or organizations like Unity.
Knowing that others hold you in their thoughts and prayers can provide a profound sense of solace and support in challenging times.
Special Needs Parenting Support Groups
If you don’t personally know anyone raising a child with a disability, special needs parenting can feel lonely. However, there are communities eager to support you on your journey.
Facebook hosts a variety of online groups tailored to special needs parenting. You can find groups based on your child’s age, diagnosis, and location. One of my favorite groups is the Special Needs Parents Support & Discussion Group, where I have found helpful advice and support when needed.
Another helpful resource is We Are Brave Together, a supportive community offering online and in-person support groups. Their uplifting gatherings provide a safe space to share experiences and find solidarity with fellow parents.
For an in-depth look at the inspiring work of We Are Brave Together, check out their feature in Neuro Brilliant Magazine.
Whether you have questions, need to vent, or want to connect with others on a similar path, these communities offer a compassionate space to share experiences and find strength.
Reach out to a Friend
Having a friend with whom you can be your true self is a precious gift. Even if they don’t fully understand the challenges of raising a child with disabilities, talking with friends helps you feel seen and heard.
Whether you’re venting about your frustrations, bonding over a podcast, or sharing a TikTok post that brightened your day, knowing that someone in your life cares can make a difference.
For example, when I am experiencing special needs mom burnout and don’t feel like picking up the phone to talk to anyone, I will go online and look for funny memes or videos to send to my friends. This allows me to connect with others and feel seen and heard.
Find Respite Care Providers
Respite care can allow you to tend to your needs while ensuring your child is properly cared for. You can hire caregivers for home visits, enroll your child in day programs, or even have them join overnight camps designed for kids with disabilities.
Finding the best respite care options varies by state. Connect with your care team or a social worker for personalized guidance. Organizations like The Arc, EasterSeals, and Arch National Respite Network can provide helpful insights and resources.
Reach out to these resources and discover the support available for you.
Seek Professional Support
Seeking professional support has the potential to transform how you handle special needs mom burnout. Conversations with a counselor or therapist can provide a sense of being seen, heard, and understood while offering personalized strategies to overcome burnout.
You can start small if you need more time before seeking professional help. Consider listening to mental health podcasts and YouTube videos. As you become more comfortable, consider progressing to conversations with someone.
BetterHelp is a helpful resource for special needs moms seeking therapy who can’t attend in-office therapy appointments. You can message a therapist anytime via chat, text, phone, or video.
3. Practice Saying No
It’s natural to want to do everything to care for loved ones. However, I’ve learned that sometimes, the best way to care for my family and manage special needs mom burnout is by saying no to things that aren’t essential.
Saying no might mean skipping volunteering or passing on a family gathering. To make these decisions easier, consider bullet journaling. List everything you must do, then ask, “If I don’t do this, what would happen? Does it impact my family’s or my immediate well-being?”
If it doesn’t negatively affect your well-being or your family, consider whether it should be a priority and be willing to say no if it’s non-essential.
The Bullet Journal Method is a creative outlet for me. It helps me prioritize what is essential and what can wait until later.
Learn more about Bullet Journaling in Ryder Carroll’s book, “The Bullet Journal Method: Track the Past, Order the Present, Design the Future.” You can find it here on Amazon.
Here’s a list of my favorite bullet-journaling gear to help get you started:
- Dotted Journal – find it here on Amazon
- Fineliner Colored Pens – find it here on Amazon
- Stencil Set for Dotted Journals – find it here on Amazon
4. Grant Yourself Grace
When you set goals for yourself, but then life takes an unexpected turn, feeling frustrated or disappointed is natural. Some days, I have the best-laid plans, but then my son has cluster seizures, which requires me to provide significant care, and my plans are out the window. This is part of special needs life.
Granting yourself grace can be accepting what is and shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one, like saying, “Today’s plan didn’t work out, and that’s okay. I’ll try again tomorrow.”
If you struggle with shifting your mindset, consider one of the strategies suggested earlier, such as contacting a friend or a mental health professional for help.
Granting yourself grace can also be treating yourself to something special on challenging days, like an extra cup of coffee, ordering take-out, or binging on Netflix in your sweats.
Remember that no one is perfect, and it’s okay if life doesn’t always go according to plan. Be kind to yourself.
5. Carve Out Moments of “You” Time
Special needs parenting often comes with extra challenges. Some days can feel overwhelming, especially when there doesn’t seem to be any time left in the day for your needs.
If you’re feeling stuck in special needs mom burnout, consider these ideas to help you find some moments of “you” time:
- Listen to your favorite songs
- Watch your favorite movie
- Go for a walk around the block
- Cuddle with a pet
- Watch a sunrise or sunset
- Flip through your favorite magazine
- Read a short book
- Call a friend
- Do something creative
Carving out just a few minutes for yourself each day can significantly impact mental health and well-being.
Consider the five tips for managing special needs mom burnout, try things out, and see what works for you.
Mental Health Disclaimer
I’m a special needs mom, not a medical professional. This article shares experiences and research but is not a replacement for professional help. If you’re struggling with mental health, please seek qualified help from a therapist or healthcare provider. Prioritize your well-being. In crisis? Call emergency services or a helpline.