If you know anyone who is differently abled, it may have taken you some time to fully understand how to treat them or even act around them. You, hopefully, know by now to treat them like you would anyone else and offer assistance in only a few cases.
However, if you aren’t sure how to act around, or treat, a differently abled person, that needs to be something at the top of your to-do list. Most of the time, you can treat them just like anyone else, and it is that simple. However, sometimes it gets a bit more complicated, and it is essential to know how to help in those situations.
Ask First and Help Later
Assuming someone needs help without asking is very presumptuous. While it may seem caring or the right thing to do, in some cases, it may cause more harm than good.
More Harm Than Good
When people see someone who has any kind of disability, they assume that person needs help. The reality is those with a disability often don’t need help in their day-to-day lives. They get by perfectly fine without others.
Helping someone without asking can sometimes disrupt their thought process or cause them to become disoriented. For example, someone who has autism can become easily overwhelmed by being touched or spoken to by a stranger. Helping them without asking can do more harm than good.
If someone has a guide dog or another support animal, placing yourself in their routine can disrupt the animal and cause it to miss something their handler needs to know. While they are trained to ignore interruptions and other people, they aren’t perfect and have a tremendous job to do.
We Are Equals
We all have pride that doesn’t allow us to receive help or hand-outs from people. Differently abled people are the same as us, so when you assume that someone needs help simply because they are different than you, that person often feels pity.
While most people don’t offer help out of a selfish desire, it can come across as if they are lesser than you, or you are better than them. The reality is, we all have weaknesses or things we are worse at than others. We are equals and should be treated as such.
(Source: The Mobility Resource, Disability awareness, DHS)
Speak Directly to The Person
If you meet someone who is differently abled, they might have a handler or someone who is taking care of them. Their caretaker is not a replacement for them. You should not speak to their caretaker about them as if they are not even there.
Make eye contact, speak directly to them, and treat them as you would anyone else you were interacting with. They don’t deserve to be talked about instead of talked to, no matter what they are dealing with.
Get on the person’s level. If they are in a wheelchair, don’t look down while talking to them; bend down and get on their level. They want to be treated the same as other people in society, so sometimes it is necessary to make accommodations to make them feel equal.
(Source: Vancity, One Young World, CDC)
Employ Differently Abled People
Suppose you are in a position to hire or fill positions at any kind of place of employment, look for ways to employ those who are differently abled. They have bills and groceries to buy just like you do!
While it may require some change on your end and how you run things at your work, employing someone who is differently abled can change their life. Giving them responsibility and a way to make a living for themselves only fuels their desire to become self-sufficient.
Getting a job is a crucial step in their being able to manage their life without someone needing to look over them. The way they look at the world and what they are capable of doing in it could be drastically altered by you giving them a job to do.
It is common for those who are differently abled to be looked over for a job because they may require a bit more training or some more supervision than others, but the life you are giving them is far greater than the minor work you would have to put in.
Influence Your Workplace to Be More Inclusive
If you are not in a place to hire someone, or if your workplace is not very inclusive, start changing that. A few things you can do to make your workplace more inclusive are:
- Have a conversation with HR about what a more inclusive space would look like
- Include other employees in your desire to change and offer them the chance to help
- Contact organizations that can help your workplace become more inclusive of setting training.
- Invite others to join you at conferences, classes, or training to learn more about differently abled people
- Try to get your workplace physically set-up to accommodate wheelchairs, braille signs, and service animals.
After a few weeks or months, you should start seeing a change in conversations and interest when going to hire new people in the workplace. Changing things like that can create a job opening for someone who may feel like they would’ve never had a chance.
(Source: Your Story, Net Meds, Public Service Degrees)
Educate Yourself
One of the most significant issues with minorities, or differently abled people, is the treatment they receive. Often, the reason they are discriminated against is due to a lack of education about their abilities, or lack thereof.
Learn The Proper Terminology
Knowing how to respectfully speak about, and to, someone who is differently abled is a crucial part of respecting them and their life. You can be as lovely as you want, but if you speak about them using derogatory or outdated terms, you are only hurting them and everything they have worked towards with gaining respect in the community. If you are unsure of which terms are inclusive, you can read this “Guide For Inclusive Language For People With Disabilities“.
There are classes you can take that can help you understand and learn more about how to talk to or about someone who is differently abled appropriately. While these are mostly geared to help family members learn how to cope with an injury, they can help others too.
You can also ask someone who has a disability. It is better to have a relationship with this person, so they understand your intention. There are no hurt feelings; however, having a real conversation about respect and appropriate terms can go a long way.
By teaching yourself the proper etiquette, you will only inspire others to do the same. You can also use your knowledge to help educate and encourage others to get educated on the proper way to speak about them and to them.
Educate Yourself On The History
Knowing the history of any subject can increase your ability to empathize with groups of people that do things differently than you. Specifically, learning about the ADA, you will discover that differently abled people had limited rights until a few decades ago.
Being knowledgeable about the lack of respect and views of differently abled people allows you to see the issues that are still prevalent today. Unfortunately, prejudice does not disappear just because the government passes an act that gives groups of people rights.
Be a Promoter
The best weapon against intolerance or ignorance is crucial conversations and awareness. Promoting the correct knowledge and the idea of losing prejudice in exchange or slang is the best way to stand up for those who are differently abled, even if you don’t know anyone.
Using things like social media, social circles, and casual conversations, you can change the thought process of thousands of people and their ideas of disabled people.
If you see something happening to a differently abled person, don’t ignore it. Unfortunately, not everyone sees them as equals, and it can be easy for them to be walked over. In some circumstances, standing up for them when they can’t be the right way to help them. Don’t default to it but evaluate every occasion with the knowledge that you may need to be their voice.
Learn How to Ask The Right Questions
Suppose you can sit down with someone who is differently abled and ask them how to properly ask questions. Knowing the right way to ask if someone needs help or even knowing how to communicate with them can help navigate the stressful situation you may find yourself in. Many
For example: Learning how to say a few phrases in sign language can help the language barrier be broken quickly and allow for a less stressful or alienating time for both parties. Some simple phrases you can learn are:
- Do you need assistance?
- Are you okay?
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- What is your name?
- Where do you need to go?
After learning how to ask these questions, you can learn a few critical responses so you can understand the answers. One of the best places to start is by learning the alphabet because then they can spell things out to you if it was needed.
(Source:One Young World, Family Education)
Volunteer in Your Area
There are many programs that allow volunteers to come into facilities or be involved with programs that help out those who need help. Offering to volunteer your time and skills can not only help a person with a task, but it can also alleviate some financial burdens they may have from having to hire help.
Some things you can often volunteer for are:
- Helping to train a support animal
- Grocery Shopping for those with vision, social or cognitive disabilities
- Teach classes on how to interact with those who have disabilities
- Help redo a house to be more accessible.
- Be a sign-language interpreter.
Even if you only have a few hours a month to offer, so much can be accomplished by helping someone with daily chores or conversations. Usually, you can get in contact with local churches, health departments, or nonprofit organizations for a list of ways to volunteer.
Even though you are helping them out, they are still equal to you as people. Everyone needs help sometimes, so simply thinking about it like that can help you realize that their disability is no different than a hard moment in someone else’s life.
Encourage Them
If you have someone in your life who is differently abled, they may need some encouragement every now and then. While most people are comfortable with who they are, it can get difficult sometimes to work harder when doing things.
Don’t use phrases like:
- “Wow, you did that so well!”
- “You were so close!”
- “I know it’s hard.”
- “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
- “You’re so inspirational!”
Instead, treating them like everyone else will do plenty of raising their confidence. If you start pointing out all of the great things someone is doing, it can start to feel patronizing. Differently abled people simply want to be treated like everyone else. Their daily chores and accomplishments are no different than anyone else.
Pay Attention To Accessibility
When inviting someone to something, or scheduling something, pay attention to the accessibility that it may provide for a differently abled person. If a location does not provide adequate accessibilities, then move the location of your event.
If you want to see real change, you have to settle for nothing. Using services or vendors that don’t provide anything for the differently abled is only encouraging that thought process. If you give your money and time to someone else, things will begin to change.
For those in a wheelchair, they need open spaces to move and ramps to get to higher areas. Those with vision impairments may need braille menus or the ability to bring a guide dog with them.
Mistakes happen, and if you forget something, apologize and move on from the situation. Offer assistance in place of whatever was forgotten, but don’t spend all day apologizing. They know things happen and don’t want to feel as if you are only sorry because they are differently abled.
Give Them Grace
Now, everyone needs grace sometimes. However, when someone has a cognitive or mental disability, they may need more grace and understanding than others. Often, they don’t know what they are doing, or even that it isn’t socially acceptable.
Don’t let yourself be affected by their behavior or the behaviors of those around you. The best thing you can do is acknowledge that something about their environment needs to change and try to help them.
Make it a normal conversation that people with cognitive disabilities may act differently in social settings than others. Don’t alienate them; include them with the understanding that things can go wrong. Not just with them, but with anyone, at any time.
(Source: Vancity, One Young World, The Mobility Resource, Disability awareness, Your Story, Net Meds)
Speak Clearly, Pay Attention
If you are going to offer your assistance, or just have a conversation, speak clearly and properly. Get on their level, look them in the eyes and annunciate. You should continuously evaluate the conversation to make sure that their level of understanding matches what you are saying.
Unless you have been told otherwise, differently abled people can make their own decisions, so let them. Allow them to speak their opinions and be heard as a person by showing interest in the conversation instead of blowing them off.
If someone has a speech impairment, don’t finish words or sentences for them; allow them time to finish what they are saying. Pay attention to their words and tones, and do not discount something they say simply because they are differently abled.
In reality, have a conversation with them like you would with anyone else. Pay attention, be interested, and see them as providing equal context and value in the interaction.
Respect Confidentiality
Thanks to HIPPA and the ADA, people are not required to disclose the nature or extent of their disability to someone if they do not want to. Some people are very open and like talking about their issues, while others would prefer to keep it quiet and to themselves.
No matter the desire of the differently abled person you are talking to, it isn’t your place to ask or pry for more information than they are wanting to give. There are a few circumstances that would justify asking someone how they became differently abled or what their disability is.
If they were to start the conversation, it is your job to be interested and listen. Asking questions is really only appropriate if it is relevant or if you don’t understand something. Be someone they can confide in without them feeling alienated or pity.
(Source: Vancity, One Young World, The Mobility Resource, Disability awareness, Your Story, Net Meds)
Final Thoughts
Respect is a simple thought process and even a simpler way of life. Respecting and treating those who are differently abled the same as others in society is the best way to help them. Don’t talk down to them or treat them better simply because they have a different ability. They are people.
Proactively, the best way you can help differently abled people is to challenge the negative narrative that believes they are hazards or needy. Encourage others to get educated and see them as assets and equals instead.